40:20 Vision: Gift for a 20-Something

Just know that the pain of a breakup is finite.

Breakups are a hangover. They can be awful but they do go away. You think you will never drink again…but you do. And you love again.

A fair comparison.

We’re always comparing the worst of ourselves with the best of others. We compare our inner insecurities with the outside picture other people show to the world. 

Take responsibility for the mistakes you make, recognize things that you don’t have  have control over and take pride in the things that you have done that are good.

Eccentricity.

Your “you-ness” will make you so much more interesting than fitting in. Learn how unique you are. We don’t need anymore people fitting in in this world. 

Flounder. 

It’s hard when you’re out of school and you’re floundering, But it’s okay. It’s okay to flounder. It’s okay to fall down. It’s okay to have no money. It’s okay to run around and do all this stuff. BUT never compare yourself to somebody else that has more because then you are only hurting yourself. You have to just own it. Yeah I’ve got no money. I’m broke. I can’t afford to go to that place.

A wide lens. 

“Approach every situation as one option among many…not your only option. Nothing in your twenties is a have to have.”

To be a turtle and walk slowly sometimes. 

“Imagine when you are laying a brick wall. Every brick feels like nothing. But at the end of the day you have 3 or 4 layers. At the end of the week it is incredible what you have done. Brick by brick. No one brick is earth-shattering but it’s amazing what you have accomplished when you take a step back and look at it. We need more patience in our world today. We need patience for great ideas.” - 40-something architect

To keep swimming. 

“It was either sink or swim . I killed myself doing it but I just put it out there. I put out this air of confidence and then I’d go do tons of research. It was a stressful and weird time. I was skating on air.  I had some background but I was learning on the job.  I had to fake it.  I thought I can either give them the deer in headlights look — because that’s how it felt – or I could play grownup. I had to pretend I knew.

It’s not an internship anymore. No one is going to stand up for you. That’s what I learned. I had to start standing up for myself. I guess I was faking the confidence while I was gaining it.   

After a few years, maybe even your late twenties, you hit this mark when you realize you’re not pretending. You think, “I’m on my own now. I can do this”.  I finally hit this level. I realized no one was going to tell me what to do, I just had to get it done. You  find your own way.

 - 40-something on getting promoted to a job she was under-qualified …or so she thought.